Signs of an Abuser

Abusive behavior is simply not acceptable in Islam. The prophet, May Allah bless him and give him peace, counseled us to “Help the oppressed, and the oppressor.” When the companions asked how they were to help the oppressor, he said, “By seizing his hand.” That is, by preventing his oppression. If you recognize these signs, both people in the relationship need help.

Does one person in a relationship:

  • Insult the other in public?
  • Become jealous if his/her spouse talks to others?
  • Check in on the other constantly?
  • Always decide what the other should do?
  • Blow disagreements out of proportion?
  • Threaten to break up/beat up, or constantly worry/accuse that the other will break up with them?
  • Lose his/her temper verbally?
  • Break or hit things to intimidate the other?
  • Blame their spouse for their own problems?
  • Abuse drugs and/or alcohol?

These are some of the signs of an abuser:

If you answered YES to any of the above questions, can you also recognize the cycle of violence that is characteristic to an unhealthy relationship?

If you recognize the signs of abusive behavior in yourself, for the sake of Allah and that of your family and your own well-being, seek refuge in Allah, and get help.

Or, if you answered NO to these questions, can you relate to the traits of a healthy relationship?



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