Why the Family Keeps Silent

The interdependence of members of a family is profound. Changing the cycle of abuse means a disruption of a pattern of behavior the family is accustomed to, and carries some real costs. It takes courage to make the change. Once you understand some of the factors that contribute to the family keeping silent about abuse, you will be stronger as an empathic ally and more able to make your contribution to an entire family’s well being.

  • Misunderstanding of Muslim Family Law The victim's family may misunderstand the rights and responsibilities of various family members under Islamic law.
  • Family pride The family may worry about harming their reputation. One woman's divorce may harm the marriage prospects of her younger sisters.
  • Divorce is Unacceptable Negative stigma attached to divorce plays a huge role in downplaying domestic violence.
  • Financial challenge The family's financial situation often determines their reaction to domestic violence. They may keep quiet to avoid the cost of taking care of a victim and her children.
  • Love The family may have truly deep feelings for the abuser, regardless of the abuse, and is unwilling to confront them.
  • Promises, promises Abusers may promise that the behavior will never happen again.
  • It's what they know They may believe abuse is normal; that it happens in every family.
  • They don't know what to do The family may not know what they should do to help the victim.
  • Fear Immigrants may be scared of the American social services system and fear severe consequences for their loved ones.
  • False Hopes The family may believe that the abuser can change over time, or that the victim is strong enough to figure it out on her own.


“In the Beginning”

One of my earliest childhood memories is the one where I wake up from sleep on my step uncle’s lap to find his finger inside of me. I can’t remember how old I was, I was definitely young enough to still be... More>>



Project Sakinah
Dar al Islam
P.O. Box 180
Abiquiu, NM  87510