Appreciating the qualities of intimate partner relationships is important. There is a difference between healthy and unhealthy relationships, and unless we understand this we cannot help anyone in an abusive relationships.
An unhealthy relationship is characterized by a cycle of abuse. The abuser uses disrespect, fear, jealousy and possessiveness to create an imbalance of power. This is abuse.
Mental health professionals increasingly recognize that many factors contribute to violence beyond a need to dominate, including stress from a variety of sources, substance abuse, childhood attachment deficits, a history of trauma, lack of emotional control, and brain injuries. But none of these excuse the abuse of another.
The cycle of abuse is difficult to break once in motion. so it is vital we learn to recognize unhealthy relationships, and to do something to interrupt the cycle before it gets worse.
Please learn more about Fear, Power, and Control by mousing over the outer circles. 
Look for cycles of abuse and violence to include these elements:
Tension: Criticism, yelling, swearing, angry gestures, coercion, or threats.
Violence: Physical and sexual attacks, or threats.
Seduction: Apologies, promises to change, or gifts
These are some of the elements that keep the cycle in motion:
Love for the abuser: Believing that the relationship is not entirely bad
Hope: Thinking things will change or it’s just a phase
Fear: Worrying that threats will become a reality
(Adapted from Dr. Lenore Walker's "Cycle of Violence")
A healthy relationship between in intimate partners is characterized by mutual respect, equality, trust, communication, and freedom. Each person is allowed to be an individual within the relationship. Both people grow independently of each other and as a couple. "Yes" answers to these questions are good signals in a relationship.
Please mouse over each circle for more detail. 
However, characteristics like disrespect, fear, jealousy, and possessiveness are traits of an unhealthy relationship. If you're not sure about a specific situation, check the list of warning signs.
The Power & Control Wheel of Unhealthy Muslim Families was developed by Sharifa Alkhateeb. It conveys some of the ways religion can be distorted to justify abuse against women and children in the family context. It is an adaptation of the Power and Control Wheel developed by the Domestic Abuse Project of Duluth, Minnesota.
Power & Control Wheel of Unhealthy Muslim Families
by
Sharifa Alkhateeb Please click on each segment for details.
Adapted from the Duluth Model
Peaceful Families Project
P.O. Box 771
Great Falls, VA 22066
703.474.6870
www.peacefulfamilies.org
The Power & Control Wheel of Unhealthy Muslim Families is available in .pdf format. This wheel illustrates common abusive behaviors and tactics that may be used in Muslim families experiencing domestic violence. The wheel also conveys some of the ways religion can be distorted to justify abuse against women and children in a family context. This educational resource can be a helpful tool for advocates to explain the pattern, intent, and impact behind domestic violence. Download a Copy.