Wake Up > Effects

Harm to the victim takes many forms.  Emotional and physical suffering are the negative effects that come immediately to mind. Other long-term consequences may include:

• decrease in trust and faith in Allah
• confusion about Islamic rights and liberties
• depression and suicidal thoughts
• eating disorders
• drug and alcohol abuse
• medical problems
• emotional and psychological trauma
• inability to succeed in school or at work
• post-traumatic stress disorder

The victims of an unhealthy relationship learn a new pattern of behavior, and this may lead them to risk losing things like:

• trust
• friendships
• behavioral patterns of a good relationship
• future relationships
• healthy thought patterns
• self-esteem 

A victim of intimate partner violence may not be living with the same person ten years from now, but the same ideas they have learned about acceptable behavior, respect, and what feels right or wrong will tend stick with them.

Behaving abusively towards another has long-term effects on the abuser. The abuser may get what he/she wants in the short-term, but over the long-term, are likely to suffer consequences that may include:

• loss of connection with Allah
• alienating  friends and family
• losing the respect of their peers/family/community
• being alone
• expulsion from school
• losing their job
• having a criminal record (and losing personal freedom)

Abusers create a pattern of behavior for themselves, which puts them at risk for ruining future relationships. The earlier this problem is recognized, the sooner it can be addressed.

Those who live in a violent household are also affected forever. Depending upon their relationship with abuser and victim, they may also suffer from the following:

• decrease in trust and faith in Allah
• confusion about Islamic rights and liberties
• desensitization to violence
• acceptance of violence as a norm
• depression and suicidal thoughts
• eating disorders
• drug and alcohol abuse
• medical problems
• emotional and psychological trauma
• inability to succeed in school or at work
• post-traumatic stress disorder
• inability to trust
• hardship in making new friends or keeping old ones
• ignorance of what a healthy relationship is like
• hardship in building future relationships
• unhealthy thought patterns
• low self-esteem

Living in a violent environment distorts clear thinking, clouds the heart, and makes it more difficult to develop healthy relationships. In this way, the harm done by intimate partner violence spreads beyond those immediately affected.

 When intimate partner violence is occuring in our community, we are all affected. Sahih Bukhari includes this narration of Abu Musa:

The Prophet said, "A believer to another believer is like a building whose different parts enforce each other." The Prophet then clasped his hands with the fingers interlaced.

When there is violence in the family, the very foundation of our community is under assault. It is everyone's issue. Mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, friends, co-workers -- and all our fellow Muslims. If we struggle to change our ourselves, if both genders speak out together against  violence, then with the grace of Allah, change will happen. Men can serve as role models for each other, and talk about this issue together. Women can do the same.